Monday, August 16, 2010

Where to begin...

Let's start with a few introductory basics:
My name is Hannah.  I'm 22 years old.  I live in a small Midwestern town.  I've been with my boyfriend on and off for over 4 years.  I'm just a few credits short of getting my bachelors degree.  I don't know what to do with my life.

Now, for more detail:
I was born in California and didn't have to worry about money, although I was raised to know the value of a dollar and as such I'm quite stingy.  When I was 16 my parents and I moved to the Midwest.  I was excited about it because I've always loved change and thought it would be quaint to live amongst farmers, etc.  The town we moved to happened to be unlike any other Midwestern town, though, in that everyone is very spiritual and health conscious.  Kinda cool; kinda weird.

I tried out a few colleges in the area and didn't care for them.  I moved to Los Angeles for a year to study music theory and I absolutely loved it.  But, I missed my family and friends and the cheap cost of living that only the Midwest offers, so I moved back.  It's been about 2 years since then.  For the most part I've been alright back here, because its a friendly small town and its easy.


Wait a minute.  Who wants that?  Who wants to live their life by doing the same, non-challenging things over and over, every day?  (Well, it seems like most Americans do, because that's how they live, but that's beside the point.)

I'm sick of it.

I crave challenge.  I crave adventure.  I crave... change.  As I said before, I've always been a big fan of change.  I guess I get bored easily.

So now I'm at a crossroads, it would seem.  I'm nearing completion of a degree that my parents want for me that I could care less about.  In fact, I care so little about it, that I am considering purposely not taking the 2 remaining classes I have this fall, just because I would actually prefer to not have this degree.  Is that crazy?


But this is also a great time in my life, because I can really do anything I want.  I have nothing holding me down to this location nor routine (if anything, all signals point to escaping my current location and routine.)  I can literally move anywhere I want and start any life I can imagine.

I've thought about leaving the country.  There is a wide assortment of things I dislike about the way the US government is run.  But that's another story.  And unfortunately it's a relatively insignificant story, because I'm going to stay in the US anyway.  (Work visas, etc. are too much of a hassle to think about right now.)

So:  Here I am.  A newly appointed member of the "adult" club.  Not "adult" as in porn; I mean that I'm finally an adult.  And it's about time I started acting like it.


Kerri said...

Aw Hannah! I just want to give you a hug!
I was in a similar situation at 22....I had gone to college for administration, also thinking that getting something that would guarentee me work was way better than getting a degree in something "frivolous". I was working a dead-end job--at 22 I had reached the top--when out of the blue I found out about this program, textile design. I'd been sewing since I was a kid and I have this tendency to doodle patterns on everything, so I signed up immediately, and it's been great. One of the best decisions I've made. I've got one year left and then I've got no idea, but I'm sure something will come of it! And even if not, well, you never know until you try, right?
So, that being said, is there any way you could transfer your credits? If you were able to get your music degree done in less time since you've got a bunch of schooling done already? Maybe look into that?
Or you could perhaps intern at some kind of, I don't know, symphony? Or under a conductor? I don't know a ton about music, but I think that you should try to pursue it!

What Now, Hannah? said...

Hi, Kerri! Thanks so much for your advice!

That's great you started a textile design program! It sounds like a perfect fit for you. I would imagine it takes a lot of effort and drive to go back to school after completing your first degree. I hope if I take a break from school for awhile and decide to go back at some point, that I'll be able to do it, too!

How about selling stuff on Etsy? That's something I've been wanting to do. You could do it at least part-time, and even start now!

Regarding transferring my credits: I could probably transfer some, and get at least one year out of the way. But, I'm thinking I might not be that into music anymore. The problem now is, I don't know what I'm interested in. I've thought about a few things, but can't seem to find anything that I could actually envision myself doing long-term. Otherwise I probably would try and go back to school for music or do some sort of internship (good idea, btw!) I'm not sure why music isn't interesting me anymore... I loved it so much before, but now I don't have the drive to do it again. Perhaps it's just a lack of motivation in general? I guess I'm hoping that with enough thought, I'll come up with an idea that really strikes me, and then I'll know it's the one. Here's hoping...